Sunday, November 28, 2010

Planes Trains and Automobiles...please slit my wrist.....part 1

For the last five years or so we've been flying to Houston Texas to spend Thanksgiving with my husbands ex-wife's family. Well, not really WITH the ex but we are very close to his ex sister in law and brother in law. Including all the gaggle of nieces, nephews and their babies. This year we brought my son his wife and the grandchildren with us.

The trek began with leaving Bend Oregon driving to Portland. O.K. so we knew a storm was coming but I've driven over the mountain pass a ton of times. We are always prepared to travel in the snow. SUV armed with tarp,chains,military folding shovel, dried fruits, pretzels and the like. Candle, matches, water including know those little things you can snap and keep your hands warm. I was prepared!!!! Boy Scouts got nothin' on me!!

The drive was freakin' UNBELIEVABLE! It was so damn bad there was zero visibility and we had to completely stop on the road and wait for it to clear before continuing. There were at least 4 jack knifed semi trucks. What the hell? Snow falling, ice on the windshield wipers crazy shits on the road. As a few bubbas tail gated me and then raced passed me in their bubba trucks and cars I could only hope that they would get theirs. We passed one of them after his suv slipped into the ditch covered with snow. I just smiled and waved...... See ya!

We got to the top of the mountain at a rest stop and the guy in the store wouldn't let my husband use the restroom. The snow was up to his thighs and the guy in the store had no mercy! So, David peed on the corner of the building! Nuf said. Once we got to Portland we found out that ODOT closed the mountain pass for 2 hours just behind us. Thank goodness I didn't know about this. I was already uptight!

I was hoping this was not the omen of what was to come. Nahhhh, everything will be cool.

Spent the night in Portland and called a cab the next morning to get to the airport. DO NOT USE THE GREEN CAB/SHUTTLE company in Portland Oregon!!!! Remember, there was a storm that had just passed and it was freezing.

The Shuttle came at the expected time. We all piled in but he had not turned on the heater. was FREEZING!!!! This van looked like some molester van...dirty, skanky and held together with green duct tape! I said "hey can you turn on the heater, it's cold". Huh huh huh huh....guess you all need to cuddle up back there was his answer. WTF!!! Said he just got the heater fixed yesterday. "O.K. then, can you turn on the's cold." Not until we were halfway to the airport did he turn on his.....get this.....defroster. I tell him, "hey you turned on the defroster not the heater. Can you turn on the heater?" He tells my husband Whoa better get her to the airport so she can get warm. Again, I tell him hey, turn on the heater not the defroster. Well, that's what I use not the heater. What an Asshat!



Madmud said...

Glad you made it safely to the airport, Ceci, despite the challenging (understatement) conditions. Reminds me of the YouTube video of Portland drivers. . .Looking forward to the next installment.

Julie G. said...

From what I saw on the news, you guys are lucky you made it to the hotel safely! sheeeeeesh. We were in an airplane once that used duct tape to hold up a few signs...usually not a good sign. :(

Unknown said...

Didn't I tell you it was going to snow?!?!? Not a good idea to challenge Mother Nature, Boy Scout or not.

Unknown said...

From Gee

Glad you were driving and not my husband. We would have been dead "fersure". If you ever go to Houston again, I will be happy to slit your wrist for you. Stay with us in Portland. Come before it snows!